"Ehem, you're in my seat."

Ok you know what really grinds my gears?  People with seats.  

Right so that's a generalization, and I don't actually have a problem with everyone who has a seat.  Here are some examples: 

• Are you the pilot of this plane?  You get a seat. 
• Are you the stewardess?  You get a seat too.  With a fancy seatbelt.
• Do you have a ticket that says 14B is your seat?  Sure.  Claim that.  
• Are you the bus driver?  Seat. 
• Does this bus have numbered seats?  Nope... ok you can sit anywhere.  
• Do you have motion sickness?  Ok you get to sit at the front. 
• Are you the one who pays the bills?  Please, sit anywhere you like... sit on me if you must.  
• What about the baby in the baby seat?  Yes baby, only you get to sit there. 
• Ok in the theatre:  If there are numbered seats claim yours.  If there are not you can reserve some by getting there first.  Whoops, you left, you took your purse, you lost your seat.   
• I am in your house as a guest, please, tell me where to sit.  And of course, let me know if I'm not in the right place. 

I could go on about people who are entitled to their seats.  But YOU.  You who claim your seats at the lunch table.  You who claim your seats in the school bus.  You claim your seats in the car...   YOU ARE RETARDED.  And sometimes, you're on an unjustified powertrip.  YOU DON'T GET A SEAT.  You get to sit wherever whoever got there first didn't sit.  You can't expect people to reserve your seat and you can't get people out of the seat they rightfully got by GETTING THERE FIRST. 

So please, come back to earth... and chill out.  Nothing will happen if you don't get the window seat (unless you get motion sickness), and nothing will happen if you get the head of the table or not.  Did you pay for the chair with armrests?  Nope?  ...can't claim it. 

Thanks.